Googling baby animals

I know, OBVIOUS. But a lot of things that are obvious are that way because they rule (here's looking at you, Fluffernutter.)

I was just on the phone at work with Anne again, and we were throwing back and forth some pretty amazing Google search terms (i.e. Falcor-- trust, foo', it's worth it to see his big, benevolent muppety face) and got onto a Baby Camel, Baby Squirrel, Baby Seal run. I'm not going to post them all here, as obvie it would melt the screen, but I will just say, in parting,



and also

Anne Langbein Redefines Hostessing

A few things became crushingly apparent to me during this past weekend,which I spent in upstate New York visiting my sister, the locally (in Manhattan) famous socialite you may have seen dancing in the window at the Soho Farragamo this past summer. The thing that became apparent to me was: anne should obiously run a safari or a bed n breakfast, just something where she can recreate and profit off of the perfect time I had. She would need
1)about 1,500 people who worship the ground she walks on and live to assist her
2)the sponsorship of Keystone LIght Beer
3)Local Pizzeria and Bar proprietors who would take her out of the trash/ return her her purse/cellphone the next morning
4)50 frat boys, a huge baby pool, a box of mr.bubble, and a fishtank heat rod.
5)a bong.

Excerpted from an email I just got from her:
"So last night at annual fund, i paid allen 40$ to eat a dead house fly. it was
the best 40$ i ever spent. the fly was so dirty and fat and the rules were he
couldnt wash it off or drink anything for 3minutes afterwards. "

See whammean? AKL: redifining fun, every day.

In return, she needs our help. For her sorority benefit, she needs an slogan involving animals and sexual innuendo. Last year it was countries and innuendo, so theirs was something like, "Colombia: we know blow" or "we love to blow" or something. Here's the assignment in her own precious, golden words:

"okay so animals.. some dumd ideas were something like "crabs" - which is gross
and nto funny... or bitches - we roll over and take it (like dogs or something.
dumb).. swallows is what we're gonig with now but i think we could come up with
something better. you get the hang.. ANYTHING DIRTY, SLUTTY, OBJECTIFYING, and
VULGAR. hey its all for charity, st judes hospital."

It's for charity, people.

The Internet gave me an H.J. today

Honestly, the internet is sooooooooooooo amazing. Literally. As most of you know, I, Lang Fisher, have been obsessed with the IPod shuffle commercial for its entire existence. My career goal in this lifetime is to be the silhouette of the dancing girl who flings her head around.


And for soooo long, I have tried to locate the song on said commercial because it is so catchy. Today, now that my brain is a rotting fig, I decided that I would use Mr. Internet to locate this masterpiece. THERE IS A WEBSITE THAT TELLS YOU WHAT SONGS ARE ON COMMERCIALS!!! It is http://www.songtitle.info./ My song is called "Jerk it Out" (and I will) by The Caesars. Please go to it and find your song...your future.

Congratulations to the Wiener Philharmonic

For committing suicide last night.

And to our fans aged 9 and under: we promise we didn't do several dozen whippets last night while we watched American Idol. Wienie wouldn't do that. [over eager nervous laughter][barf]

MMMMMMMMMWA!

Toby's Helping Out

Hello everyone. I am a seventh grader at the toby lawless elementry school in fresno california. i just want to say "thank" you to toby for helping to create our great "middleschool"? After being elected student body president, his first step was to rename the school after himself...but at least he created a "new" cafeteria...the lions have never felt braver! next step si to turn the garden into a detention center-thanks toby and to principal hamilton!

Ode to Gabe's Old Job

oh job oh job oh jobby job job
i sweat and I bled, i cry and I sob
but in the end, i couldn't take it no more
"on the bed or the floor"
"my knees are getting week, my back is too sore"
Stop that train, I want to get off
It was an average night backstage at a show
i seen this "girly" that I know she was a cutie and Yo!
She had it goin on, from her head to her feet
Her shape was so petit and so unique
The was hot as a skillet taken from a flame-

Job-it was fun while it lasted, but I think my stop has arrived and I must go.

I'm fine! I'll be right out! (barrrrfffff)

Oh, what? Where have I been all day? Here are some clues: rhymes with "bed" "the toilet" "crying" and "barfing". ok, those are the answers actually. I officially have the second to worst hangover I've ever had, and that stinks because my birthday is coming up on TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!

Don't worry, I'll be fine after my butt quits acting like a salad shooter. I'd also like to add that I off-handedly mentioned to gabe's family, (cute granny included), that I think it's funny to call mike a lesbian. Apparently it's not, and mike just likes to have nicknames.

But i'll be fine. I'll be fine. Just let me be, and by "be", i mean cry, and by "cry", I mean die, and by "die", I mean "pie", and by pie, I mean "barf my bagel", and by that I mean "I'll be fine".

really. please let me live to see 23. please. Mike's a lesbo though.
Love,
Jenny

vague and disgusting

so, inspired by jules, i've been doing a lot of online nature trivia reading in my downtime (read: in my alwaystime) lately, and i stumbled upon a piece of shit website full of whale facts. well, it pretends to be full of whale facts, but in actuality it offers about six tasty nuggets of whale-genius.

this was my personal fave:
Some arteries in some whales are so large that a child could crawl through them!

as vague as it is disgusting, this fact begs one question: what about cavemen strippers? are there any whales through whose arteries a caveman stripper could crawl?

www.amazing.writing

insane genius stacey nightmare on what it would be like to be a monster living in the rafters of an ikea:

The staff will grow used to my presence. I’ve made it understood through various wordless exchanges (blood murals) that if they want to keep their ikea open they will have to sacrifice one (1) customer to me each day. What--I am a monster, and I’m hungry- if I had shoulders, I’d shrug: “What? Whaddaya want?” It’s up to them who. Maybe the guy who takes more than one pencil. Whatevs. I’m pretty easy-going about it.

the wieners extend an enormous question-mark shaped boner in your direction, ms. nightmare. congratz.

pussy!










boo hoo

i sure am going to miss my co-workers, next week when i dont have to come in here.

wiener phil action figures!!!!!!!!!!

after sooooo many prototypes, and shit-tons of fan requests, the wiener philharmonic is ready to unveil our first-ever line of action figures! pre-sales are already being made on ebay, so act fast.
the first action figure to hit the shelves?
TOBY!!!

we've also recently received the designers' first crack at gabe's naked torso:

GAVEL! GAVEL!

Mike, easy with anorexic nose confetti, OK?

And Jenny? Stop swallowing two of these with water every hour:

MMMkay?

gabe follows horoscope literally, VJ consumed

i'd like to apologize to the family and friends of gideon yago, and then quickly point the finger at the village voice's taurus horoscope today:
"In my opinion, there's only one thing you can trust right now: your
body. You should formulate specific questions and invite your body to
reveal the answers through its feelings and sensations."
suchin pak, you just better hope next week they dont tell me to annihilate the best-dressed munchkin on my tv.

Oh. Really?

I'm pretty sure there's something or other that mike eats too much of.

The only prob is that I eat too much fruit and jiggle, yet mike eats too much, well, you know, and his pecks get bigger while his ass gets tighter. I guess the man upstairs really does like men better than women.

Mike's a lesbo though.

Love,
Jenny

jenny slate has some skeletons in her cupboard

ok, yes, i once had a particularly fickle palate, but i've overcome. i eat many things, including but not limited to:
jam
olives
mayonnaise
fruit
lettuce
evidence
now! has jenny ever told you that sometimes she eats too much of one thing, and ends up paying the price later?
well, she does.
mike

A Rhyme for the Ages

Good Marrow every one I have a surprise
It will make you say "goshdarn" and poke out your eyes
It will be twiddley dee and dumble thumb too
You'll want to eat oatmeal and gumbley goo-
enough enough of these stupidly words
just listen up close and hold in your turds
now is your chance to hear this relation
now twiddle your nips to express your ELATION!

An "link to a voicemail" of epic commotion

As a regional director gives play-by-play motion

A Jack in the Box calls on his boss

to inform of his tardiness to soften the loss

the company forwarded for all to listen

a hundred million times, it crashes the system!

Mike E. Barry learns the world, taste by taste

I've been friends with Mike since he was 120 pounds and singing soprano in the same dorm shower that we shared with a 29 year old convict who lived in our closet, (thanks, columbia housing, for scaring the shit out of me in every way possible), but there's one thing I never knew.

Mike, who literally has an obsession with tracking the weather online, has a strange appetite. Up until his recent affair with "rufage", as he calls it, (by the way mike: toottootytoottoot!), mike had never tried something that I literally put on my face every night before I go to sleep.

No, it's not a "get it while I'm passed out/ blacked out" sign, it this: JAM.

Fucking mike Barry never ate jam until this summer. How the Fuck do you miss that, I asked him the other night.

"Well," he said, as Jules and I stared at him, "For the first 18 years of my life I ate my toast dry."

"ATE MY TOAST DRY?" DISGUSTING. THAT LITERALLY SOUNDS VAGINAL. WHY? why not try jam? what? you never thought of it? I literally write in jam. I put jam on my stairs as a carpet. My sunblock is jam. My name is jam.

Ok. so he's had it now, and I love him a lot, and he's a great friend, but after he made the "dry toast" comment, he also said that he's never eaten more than a half of a banana at a time, and that he's probably eaten like 7 bananas in his whole life. I'd like to reach Jules Honda for comment but her brain exploded after he said that. I took out my gun, but reconsidered.

What the fuck is wrong with mike? Is it that he's too cute for jam and bananas? maybe? The mysetry unfolds. Tune in in 46 years when he takes the plunge and discovers MILK.

Love,
Jenny

"La la la la la la, gonna go surfin', lala la lalaaaa, surfin' surfin' surfin'"

"Hey, Irene, your cape smells like shit."

I Pooped a Symphony!

From a website for "Pure Gold Teaching Products." Eiww.

Ode

I can't believe how fresh you are,
How vineg'ry and tart,
I'll withstand the long long lines
I'll withstand my evening farts.

To eat your lunchtime freshness
Is to munch a maiden's tits,
I'll suckle at your jug-like
Chicken Provencal with grits.

YOU know what you do to me.
You know who you are.
You know you rob me daily--
You're the Whole Foods Salad Bar.

You make me look all bougie
When you lure me to your palace
But I've fallen down your tempeh hole
Like a frightened little Alice:

The Queen of Hearts of Palm is angry
I ate her whole damn platter,
And this real convincing olive loaf
Swears that I'm Mad Fatter.

You know I need your 'agus,
You know I need your 'choke,
You know I need your rigid whites
And crave your creamy yolks!

My bloodstream hollers "protein!"
And, with open arms to boot, you
Clamor back, "TUSCAN BEANS!"
(And then I whisper, "toooot.")

My shrivelled leather mug says "water!"
Your apples yell back, "HERE!"
I think, "Yes, that's just the ticket
To compliment this coffee/beer."

You see? I don't-- you finish--
All my--sentences HAHAHAHAHA
You know just where I'm ticklish,
You love my lisp, my ratty bras,

I'm broke but never lonely,
With your fresh and herby treasures.
And SNAP I'll get all nasty
On your sister, Healthy Pleasures.

What is that Swan doing to that conch?

So I am basically panting right now from SPRINTING back to the blog SO excitedly with armfuls of the most AMAZING Animal Trivia. Presidential Trivia this morning was pretty good, but the fact that James Buchanan was our only bachelor president is FAR less scintillating than the fact that literally all pet hamsters are descended from a single female wild golden hamster found with a litter of 12 young in Syria in 1930.

ALSO

A father Emperor penguin withstands the Antarctic cold for 60 days or more to protect his eggs, which he keeps on his feet, covered with a feathered flap.

A rat can last longer without water than a camel can.

All clams start out as males; some decide to become females at some point in their lives.

An albatross can sleep while it flies. It dozes while cruising at 25 mph.

At the end of the Beatles' song "A Day in the Life", an ultrasonic whistle, audible only to dogs, was recorded by Paul McCartney for his Shetland sheepdog.

Camel milk does not curdle.

Infant beavers are called kittens.

Macaroni, Gentoo, Chinstrap and Emperor are types of penguins.

Mockingbirds can imitate any sound from a squeaking door to a cat meowing.

Owls have eyeballs that are tubular in shape, because of this, they cannot move their eyes.

Sharks are the only animals that never get sick. As far as is known, they are immune to every known disease including cancer.

Swans are the only birds with penises.

The hummingbird, the loon, the swift, the kingfisher, and the grebe are all birds that cannot walk.

The poison-arrow frog has enough poison to kill about 2,200 people.

Make that 2,201.

GOOD ONE, GUY.

Jules hearts trivia!

A little too fresh?

So it took me WAY ass too long to get into Fresh Direct, but now I've spent all morning filling up my tiny two-dimensional iconic cart and I couldn't be happier. But can I just offer one suggestion, FD? calm. down. with your wine descriptions:

"We are huge fans of the soft-spoken magic that well made Pinot Bianco (aka Pinot Blanc) can deliver. Salvalai's slamtastic 2002 talks the talk-and backs it up with a walk on the wild side of flava. Kinda like a pear-kissed Chardonnay that hasn't been violated by oak. Throw in a dash of nutmeg and presto, Bianco!"

The juice of grapes that have been carefully fermented can be delicious, aromatic, crisp, even naughty, evasive, sexy, royal, obstinate, loamy, preppy, chinky, shy, and barren. But neither grapes nor, indeed, anything except maybe Andre Agassi 9 years ago in a Powerade commercial, can be slamtastic.

YOU ONLY HAVE 2 MORE CHANCES

to see the Wieners perform "Wine Teeth" at Juvie Hall. So gather round.

Wednesday March 23 and March 30
Juvie Hall, 24 Bond Street between Bowery and Lafayette
9:30 pm, $7

Dear Halloween,

I am sorry for being too ugly even for you.

Love,
Peacock Feather Cat Mask

gabe got a breast reduction. see this before shot:

omg, is t. lawless in trouble?

someone should save toby.
in fact, everyone should save toby, asap.

ahem

listen up, if you dare!
last night i saw the best karaoke in a bar that gives you a free pizza everytime you order a drink. i think it was on saturn, but it may have been in brooklyn.
alligator lounge, 'round the corner from the metropolitan. don't be an idiot.

why am i so abusive?

look. i'm not some hulking behemoth. i'm a nice, cuddly guy. (for any potential suitors out there: i can be anything you want me to be, sailor.)
which is why i was so shocked at my own behavior recently. over the course of 7 days, i managed to slap, punch, or bean each of the female wieners.
my first target was jenny: during an otherwise routine late-night dance rehearsal for our show, i managed to hit jenny in the face. twice. on the same move in the dance. the first time, she bravely kept her composure, but when my flailing limbs struck yet again, she lost it.
next up was good ol' lang: right in the middle of our show, no less. there comes a moment in a scene where i "pretend" to "stab" lang with an epipen. well, hilarious fiction became ugly reality when lang informed me the next day that her ass had a large bruise on it, and some broken blood vessels as well.
perhaps the attack de resistance landed squarely on jules' face: after a rainstorm and sudden freeze the other week, i was happily walking with said victim on the icy sidewalks of brooklyn. i was carrying a large metal travel mug of hot coffee. ignoring the conditions and maintaining my usual brisk pace, i slipped, and threw my arms out to maintain my balance. the coffee cup clocked jules, leaving a slightly black eye, and an unfortunately bruised lip.
what have i become?
mike

grubman: intense

i've now seen the premiere episode of lizzie grubman's new mtv reality series, 'PoweR girls,' three times. i suggest that everyone check it out, if for no other reason than to see how weird you can look if you bleach out your entire brow and work out for four hours a day, while partying every night. grubdawg's also got a gaggle of intern-aged beauties worth stalking, replete with fake breasts, midwestern accents, and 69% bodycum. work it out, ladies--afterall, life means nothing, right?



Whoa-o-oh, the cutest thing

It's true about Noodles n Pudding, we are SO going on Saturday. Reasonably-priced, gently updated Italian favorites in the middle of a cartographic virgin cocktail? Sold.

But it reminded me of the cutest thing I've ever seen. Where: 3 weeks ago. When: The New York Aquarium, Coney Island. My boyfriend and I were standing at the glass wall of the outdoor seal environment-- these seals were fucking adorable, first of all, they were all nuzzling, really loving the cold, twirling around and blowing their noses. I mean, a. DORABLE. and we're all watching, and I'm all "OMG, look at that one," etc. and everyone's all cooing and pointing, and then this little girl, parked on her daddy's shouldners, screams, in the most urgent, passionate, LOUD, throaty child voice:

"I LOVE YOU, SEALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL"

Do yourself a favor and go to the NY Aquarium.

One Good Thing Leads to Your Mother

STEP ONE: Today while on the phone with my gal pal Jules, I received a fax from an elevator maintenance company. They were invoicing me for $350 worth of maintenance. Now, those of you who know me or slept with me in 2002, know that my office is on the ground floor. So, I says to those elevator chumps, "Hey there!! I'm not paying you one peso!"


STEP TWO: But that's when I noticed... they were located on Pinapple Street. And I giggled and so did Jules. We thought to ourselves out loud over the phone, "PINEAPPLE STREET. THAT'S KOOKY!"


STEP THREE: Then we mapquested pineapple street and found out that it lies parallel to orange and cranberry streets in Brooklyn Heights.


STEP FOUR: I took mapquest's advice and looked up nearby restaurants. That's when I spotted Noodle Pudding.


STEP FIVE: Jules and I GIGGLED.


STEP SIX: We looked up Noodle Pudding in Metro and Citysearch and it seems delish.


STEP SEVEN: We are eating there on Saturday. WE MADE A DATE...with each other.


STEP EIGHT: Stay tuned.

when the paper came, they went for what they really love

little ray went for the junk, his momma went for the angel dust.

so, last night i watched most of 'ray' on dvd. yeah, most of it. it was good, don't get me wrong, but i like to make sure i keep rented movies for at least six months before i complete them. that way i feel like i'm a real part of the industry, giving at least half of the film's budget back in late fees, and keeping the mighty cogs slick with my glossy credit card receipts.

everyone in the cast was pretty much insanely terrif, but no one kicked my brain in like the woman who played ray's momma. sharon warren, hollywood's single most physically strained actress in history. not since tom cruise's vascular tour-de-force 'mission impossible,' or nickelodeon's old claymation short about the boy who swings over the top of the swingset and gets turned inside out, have i been so completely enthralled and entertained by someone's insides popping out.

this lady must've weighed a cool 29, but had the energy of at least that many batteries. i guess PCP was pretty cheap back in the day.

Check out this poem by my dad

Do you have any idea
how much you fucking cost
in private school tuition?

Go to grad school and
stop tarting around
you selfish twat

oops I forgot to ryhme--
a little like you
forgot
to realistically
engage with society,
funny girl



The end.

Check out this poem by my dad

http://www.slate.com/id/2114669/

It's a poem by Ron Slate, on "Slate". Spoooooky!
Love,
jenny

Cheer Up Gabe Liedman

Dear Gabe,

You did the right thing. Your brain is made of diamonds, and you will go far. You can always come over to my house, and eat wieners with me. And remember, you're a smart and adorable, and not an idiot.

I love you, the wieners love you, and you're ok in my book.
Love,
Jenny

r.i.p.: gabe's dream vacation

quitting my job and preparing myself for a bumpy coupla week-month-years is a process of sacrifice. for example, i've been saving toward a tropical vacation, by myself, in order to get my groove back. now i know that my vacation money is about to become oatmeal money, and i'm fine with that. mostly because i found this picture of myself on my vacation online:

but also because i'm mature and savvy.

love,
gabe

gabe reads the news dionne warwick style (tanqueray handle in cooter)

thanks, eli liedman, for finding this story on the infrawebs.
it combines my favorite things in the world: psychics and bureaucracy.

Jenny Reads the News, Doggystyle!

Guess what? This dog, named Snoopy, ran away! He ran down the highway and the police chased him and it was on TV! That's what I call newsworthy! This story is so fucking cute! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Cute cute cute cute!

His name is snoopy and he is poodle who looks like he has a perm!

"Mr. Baez's nephew, Jose, 15, said Snoopy, whom he described as an enthusiast of jumping and licking, didn't know any tricks, at least until he developed his escape routine.
He added: "I was going crazy because the dog was on the highway. They were like, he was neglected, but he wasn't. Everybody knows that dog."

Now we do, Jose, now we ALL do. Every time I, (not an enthusiast, but downright ZEALOT of jumping and licking), bolt out of my apartment and run onto the highway people just scoop me up and take me to this italian restaurant where they make me share a meal of spaghetti and meatballs with a tramp. And they're like, "when-a the moon hits-a-your eye", but I'm like "give me my own fucking noodles. I've been running on the motorbike highway all day, and this tramp keeps eating the other end of my noodles and trying to kiss me."

Anyway, the story of snoopy is so cute cute cute cute! Ahhhh! My boobies just exploded because it's so fucking cute! My boobies are so cute! AH!!!! cute cute cute! cuteness is such a strong power! AHHHH! Cute! My buttcheecks just caught on fire because this poodle is so cute!

SO.CUTE.
love,
jenny

jules: you forgot

the movie that, without a doubt, is hollywood's singular unsinkable masterpiece. this piece of celluloid platinum never fails to make my spirits soar, and my brain flood out of my tearducts. gabby hoffman, k-cos, star jones, ray liotta and the gawky southern flash - in - the - pan - but - strangely - perfect - for - this - one - role - as - mother: you've changed my life a million times, and i believe you can change it again.

BEEEEEEP : "Hey, Jon, it's your agent here:

I just wanted to tell you about a really exciting thing we've got coming in the pipeline, I think you're REALLY gonna like it. It's not exactly in that Pulp-Fiction/Get Shorty vein, but it's still very sexy, very smooth, it's already got a lot of hype, I mean, it's a surefire blockbuster knock on wood, and yeah, so, call me back, sexy."

Dear Chip and Meryl

Mommy and Daddy are having a GREAT TIME in the outback!

This Kanga had an erection at the time of its death!
Don't forget to practice your piano, Chip, and Meryl, try to stick to one dinner like we talked about.

TOLD YOU SO

For HOW MANY years now, have I been saying to anyone that will listen, that Kevin Costner is the best? Maybe it was all part of my weird childhood predilections (which included a sexual crush on already-obese-and-yam-nosed Gerard Depardieu), but I fell SERIOUSLY in love with K-Cos at Dances with Wolves in 4th grade. Does it bother me that he literally doesn't act in the movie? No. Lieutenant Dunbar is tired. he's been building ovens out of shitbricks on the prairie alone for months. Bravo, Costner, you nailed it with your inflectionless narrative and dead eyes.


But I've always stood alone, the object of a casual but unanimous ridicule. Until now: (from the NY Observer, re "The Upside of Anger," in theaters now)

"Joan Allen is superb, as always, but the big surprise is Kevin Costner, who steals the picture with his keenest, wittiest and most sensitive performance in years as a has-been jock who is so dysfunctional it’s a miracle if he doesn’t wear his underwear inside out."



So what if he SOMETIMES self-produces post-apocalyptic messianic vanity vehicles (like a certain MOIST WORLD and a certain MAIL DELIVERER)? Many of his movies are

PRETTY

FUCKING

SICK

I wanna run to you, Frank Farmer.

headlong

hey blog! what's up, girl? how's shit?
oh. jesus. i'm disgusted to hear that.

well, i have some crazy news too. i quit my job, and i don't have another one yet.
yeah, totals, i know. i'll be fine though. did i show you the trick i can do with a nightstick? another time i guess.

love,
gabe

Man! I'm Stuffed!

What's wrong with me? I just ate a pound of puppies, an orange popple, and a cabbage patch of kids. The wierd thing is I'm still hungry. Maybe I have a glow-worm or something.

Love,
Jenny

What the fuck, Wieners?

Whoever stole that picture, (below) of me sitting on my cousin Rory is such an asshole. That's IT wieners. we're never having rehearsal at my apartment again. When I tell my mom about this total invasion of privacy she's going to be, let's say, really upset.

I thought we were cool. I guess not.

Love,
Jenny

Pirates are always pretending to have fun even when they're totally NOT, you know?

Weekend? Yeah. Whatever.

It's like, "oh great. the weekend is here." This time of year is sooooo boring. I just can't ever have fun at parties. I'm always so bored at them. I never "let loose". That's just not me.
love,
Jenny

PS: I'm talking to my mom on the phone right now.

beautiful photos

by a talented friend of the wieners, andrew ti.

But Wait. What About My Jockstrap?

I really do want to be an actress, but then again, I'm clearly made for the WNBA:wine-o division.
Love,
Jenny

Don't Worry, I'm a Professional

I've been thinking about how lucky I am to be made of skin and blood, and live on earth, because I really want to be an actress. And the more I think about it, I can't wait to go to all of those fancy parties that actresses get to go to, like the grammys, and celebrity weddings. I've always had a great time at weddings, and open bars are so fun. Luckily I'm a graceful drinker.
Love,
Jenny

i have all 20 thingamabobs in my bra

"yeah, that belt's okay"