How am I not reduced to a fine powder???

I've been keeping track of my expenses in a little faggy notebook, a journal financier if you will, in order to save money for upcoming trips to Chicago and possibly Portugal. It has been a highly revelatory project, even in its earliest stages:

7/28
$2 iced coffee
$2 iced coffee

7/29
$12 beer (bar)
$10 beer (six pack)

7/30
$1.25 hot coffee
$2 iced coffee
$23.13 IRS penalty
$10 beer (6 pack)

7/31
$28 groceries
$2 iced coffee

8/1
$1.25
$29 bottle Tanqueray

Again, I have to ask a question that I usually reserve for my birthday, "HOW AM I STILL ALIVE??" Should'nt I look a little less like this

and a little more like this?