Anne Langbein Redefines Hostessing

A few things became crushingly apparent to me during this past weekend,which I spent in upstate New York visiting my sister, the locally (in Manhattan) famous socialite you may have seen dancing in the window at the Soho Farragamo this past summer. The thing that became apparent to me was: anne should obiously run a safari or a bed n breakfast, just something where she can recreate and profit off of the perfect time I had. She would need
1)about 1,500 people who worship the ground she walks on and live to assist her
2)the sponsorship of Keystone LIght Beer
3)Local Pizzeria and Bar proprietors who would take her out of the trash/ return her her purse/cellphone the next morning
4)50 frat boys, a huge baby pool, a box of mr.bubble, and a fishtank heat rod.
5)a bong.

Excerpted from an email I just got from her:
"So last night at annual fund, i paid allen 40$ to eat a dead house fly. it was
the best 40$ i ever spent. the fly was so dirty and fat and the rules were he
couldnt wash it off or drink anything for 3minutes afterwards. "

See whammean? AKL: redifining fun, every day.

In return, she needs our help. For her sorority benefit, she needs an slogan involving animals and sexual innuendo. Last year it was countries and innuendo, so theirs was something like, "Colombia: we know blow" or "we love to blow" or something. Here's the assignment in her own precious, golden words:

"okay so animals.. some dumd ideas were something like "crabs" - which is gross
and nto funny... or bitches - we roll over and take it (like dogs or something.
dumb).. swallows is what we're gonig with now but i think we could come up with
something better. you get the hang.. ANYTHING DIRTY, SLUTTY, OBJECTIFYING, and
VULGAR. hey its all for charity, st judes hospital."

It's for charity, people.