TOLD YOU SO

For HOW MANY years now, have I been saying to anyone that will listen, that Kevin Costner is the best? Maybe it was all part of my weird childhood predilections (which included a sexual crush on already-obese-and-yam-nosed Gerard Depardieu), but I fell SERIOUSLY in love with K-Cos at Dances with Wolves in 4th grade. Does it bother me that he literally doesn't act in the movie? No. Lieutenant Dunbar is tired. he's been building ovens out of shitbricks on the prairie alone for months. Bravo, Costner, you nailed it with your inflectionless narrative and dead eyes.


But I've always stood alone, the object of a casual but unanimous ridicule. Until now: (from the NY Observer, re "The Upside of Anger," in theaters now)

"Joan Allen is superb, as always, but the big surprise is Kevin Costner, who steals the picture with his keenest, wittiest and most sensitive performance in years as a has-been jock who is so dysfunctional it’s a miracle if he doesn’t wear his underwear inside out."



So what if he SOMETIMES self-produces post-apocalyptic messianic vanity vehicles (like a certain MOIST WORLD and a certain MAIL DELIVERER)? Many of his movies are

PRETTY

FUCKING

SICK

I wanna run to you, Frank Farmer.