The Wiener Philharmonic

The official blog for sketch comedy group the Wiener Philharmonic, aka "the Wieners" aka "Wiens" aka "your nuts" aka "you're nuts." Come see us perform!

Friday, December 31, 2004

Good Ol' Crusted Butt

I think it was Julia, but whoever posted the Crested Butte post on the blog should know some facts about Crested Butte.

Try to answer this multiple choice question.

1)Which of the following actually happened in Crested Butte, Colorado?

a) It's where Lang learned to ski.



b) It's where, at the age of 10, her brother Burch fell off a cliff, dropping hundreds of feet, only to climb back up the rocky face of a 14,000 Ft. peak using his twitching, bloodied, twiggy little limbs and the sturdiness of his polo tennis shorts.

c) It's where Lang's maniacal ex-stepfather backed his van into a city pole and then peeled away like a bank robber, carrying all members of her family back to their vacation house, as if no municipal property had been damaged. Karma would, however, catch up to him and, later on that day, he crashed his mountain bike into a local stream and contracted giardia, which made him shit like a mountain goat after feasting on human flesh. While he was bed-ridden, the police came to interrogate and later fine him for the broken pole.

d) It's where Lang beat up a local boy or, as her mother likes to called them, a "townie" after he shoved a dandelion into Lang's bracey mouth. She punched him in the face and then proceeded to kick him in the groin, while he lay motionless on the ground. The following day, he had his fellow local rapscallions accompany him to confront young Lang. One of the ruffians slid on all fours behind Lang, while the douchebag in question pushed her. She flipped over backwards, fractured her arm on the sidewalk, told her mother she had hurt it on the swings, and, consequently, missed out on the following day's horseback trail ride.

e) All of the Above



ANSWER = E

Crested Butte you are my home (breathe...hiccup...breathe).

6 Comments:

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