'what're you waiting for, a golden invitation?'

first: i fucking hate when people say that.
yes, i am waiting for a golden invitation. what're you waiting for, a golden shower? [unzipping fly] rsvpasap, lol.
why did someone at work just ask me if i'm waiting for a golden invitation? literally, i'm asking YOU why. last time i heard that one, i was so bored i fell off my 1992 desktop calendar. word?

second, when i returned to my desk, furious, i was instantly mollified by the presence of this in my gmail inbox. from jules honda to mike b, a golden invitation if i've ever seen one:

"mike why dont you come on over here and let me look at your two nifty tits, your wallabes, your shock absorbers, funsacks, baby bumpers, eyes n tremblers, honkers, dangleberries, tit lottery, flight deck, handles, num nums, top set, fuck udders, rib cushions, shoulder boulders, flesh pipes, cmon. let me see your nards. cmon."

excellent.