Jenny's New Idea

I don't know how to spell RINOPLASTY, but I have to say something about it:

For years I thought it was "Rhino-Blasty", like they say "Shrink" for psychiatrists. I thought that they were calling the people who had big noses "Rhinos" and that they were going to "BLAST" the rhino part of them away. And that's why it was called "Rhino-BLASTY".

I only realized that i was so wrong when I drank two bottles of whine last night and watched "true life: I'm getting plastic surgery" for the 21st time. Why hadn't I noticed before? Probably because of the HUGE DOUCHEBAG who calls himself "eye candy" as he shaves his body, puts glitter on, tries to blow his OWN SELF and then gets calf implants. That clouded my brain.

This entry is part of my new resolution to make inconsequential confessions everyday in order to not completely fade away into my own daily rituals of staring at my toilet and giving myself lice checks because it "feels so good. i mean, i'm sorry, but it feels so so so good. yeah, right there jen. yesssss. jenny. jenny JENNNNYYYYYYY!!!!! YES YES YES!!!! I love you!"

I've had lice 2 times: once in second grade (my mom put my entire life into trash bags and my room was clean and fresh for the first time....to bad i had bugs in my head), and once i got the eggs at camp and they hatched when i got home. we were in teh supermarket and my mom said "DON'T MOVE".

I also act like I have no money, then make myself admit that I'm actually fine, then take money out of my account and flip out because i'm an idiot and i spend all of the money. ALL.

I'm writing this from a trash can.

Ok. I'm writing this from lang's office because she's kind enough to give me a job, which I'm not doing because I'm writing my "confessions". Suck on THIS, St. Augustine, you fucking perv!
love,
jenny