Dear Lang's Mountain Man:
I knew you were something special when I noticed that you were three times longer than all of Lang. When I noticed your hipbone was at my temple, I thought, "wow." But Mountain Man friend of Lang's, why didn't you tell me that your sleeves were stuffed with medical marijuana?
Hey Mountain Man, if you're looking for a hard court to play four square on, I recommend the scorched earth of my fucking brain.
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