The Wiener Philharmonic

The official blog for sketch comedy group the Wiener Philharmonic, aka "the Wieners" aka "Wiens" aka "your nuts" aka "you're nuts." Come see us perform!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

HORSEFEATHERS!!!! Nope, more like MORE HORSEBALLS!!!

Yesterday I posted about "Horseballs", but today, in order to start my day off right, and because I can't stop thinking about those glossy, muscular beasts prancing around the corral with their horseballs, I watched the video again. It's true, "there's a major benefit to Horseballs: they cut down on boredom and reduce stable vices." true. I will NEVER EVER BE BORED AGAIN, and I've cut down on my "stable vices" by half. Usually I can't go two hours without knocking over the trash and making prank phone calls to the hospital, but now my time is occupied by horseballs.

I can't stop watching that video.

Did you know that horseballs come in two different varieties? The one I like is called "The Eggbutt", and it has a "unique snaffle bit handle".


AHHHHHHHH!!! ARE THESE PEOPLE TRYING TO KILL ME! AHHHHHH! "EGGBUTT?" NO?! YES! NO! YES! AHHHHHHHH!!!!

"If your horse has any personality or spirit, they'll love horseballs." Let's face it, the same goes for people. If you don't like Horseballs, you can kiss my horseballs, because horseballs are literally the best thing since horseballs, and I love horseballs and I'll never stop thinking about them. I want one so badly. What if I could never be bored, and eliminate my stable vices for good? My birthday is in 17 days, and for each one of those days I'm going to pray to the lord for a horseball, ("Please god! Give me an Eggbutt!"). And a blow job. Oh, C'mon. People who like horses (fill in the blank)...horses make you(me! me!) think of(fill in the blank).

Horseballlllsssss!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love,
Jenny

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