Jenny=IDIOT

This is typical, like the time when some guy named Gary Butthome or something called my house and asked for my dad, and I was like, "nice try dad." and he was like, "I'm not your father," and I was like, "oh, I know, you're Gary farthouse or whatever," but he was seriously the guy from Merrill Lynch. So, my older sister sent me yet another annoying chain letter/quiz on email, this time the quiz was, "which member of the Red Sox are you?", and I'm so sick of these letters, because they make me think that I have mail, when I just don't. So I wrote this email, thinking I was replying only to my sister, my other sister, and my dad. Unfortunately I replied to a list of colleagues and friends from the hospital where she works. Know where I work? Right here, in my apartment, with no colleagues or friends. And no pants.

Read on:

"abby,you're not a teacher so STOP GIVING ME QUIZZES!

And just so you know,I actually caved and took that doctor Phil quiz, and you know what it told me:"your older sister is always sending you these quizzes. Be honest with her and tell her that if she is going to send you something, it should be an item that you can later return to the pottery barn."
I love you abby, but listen to doctor Phil. He's a DOCTOR. No more quizzes, please.

wait. wait. I interrupt my email to say "look at what I say next to all of her friends who are strangers to me." read more.

and to all of the rest of you out there: "safety", if you get my drift. Eat my dust, LOSERS.

see you in Florida, Abs. I heard nana and papa got us some tickets To see the local production of "Broadway bound" or something, so if you could swipe us both some sort of valium or sedatives, that would be great. Otherwise we could just hope that I "fall" by "mistake" into the pool with the tickets in the butt of my bathing suit. No ticket, no play. Stace and I saw "Brigadoon" while we were there, two visits ago. It was breathtaking. No, literally, I was so bored I had a stroke and a heart attack. Breathtaking indeed. Love,jenny

Well, there you have it. If you think that I'm not extremely mortified, then you are an IDIOT. Just like me. See you tomorrow, when I'm going to be a guest on the Tony Danza show and call him a dyke.
Love,
Jenny