It's On Gabe! Now it's time for Jenny to Unload (not farts)

You know what I think is funny? When Gabe is like, "oh. blah blah jenny's farts are like trash that has blood in it," but then i'm like, "guess what gabe? i'm about to follow you around and fart all of the time and scream GABE STOP FARTING!!! DID YOU JUST POOP?"

here's a little mystery that i may solve RIGHT NOW:
if i'm so DISGUSTING, so ODOROUS, why has gabe, for the past FIVE YEARS, invited me to both rosh hashanna and Passover at his home in philadelphia? If i'm so GROSS, I shouldn't be allowed at the table...unless my farts smell like a) apples and honey or b)the coming of Elijah. And those are the only options, and the proof is there. Nobody would invite a stinky-ass-fountain of gas to the same table that contains LITERALLY THEIR WHOLE FAMILY.

So here are your options:
a) my farts smell like apples and honey, (signifying a sweet new year)
b) they announce the coming of Elijah
c) My farts are bad, but that means that Gabe wants to kill his whole family. even his beautiful dog. sick.

and fine

d) I DID win a golden globe for my farts, (best comedy/musical).

Eat that, g-spot.

OBVIOUSLY,
JENNY SARAH SLATE