Monday, December 13, 2004

Television Collision: "The Biggest Loser" dusts off our tearducts

One greasy, juicy, meaty show the Wieners can really sink their teeth into is the NBC Tuesday hit, The Biggest Loser. Take last week's episode, for example:
Lang, Gabe, Jenny, and Mike were intently watching as Gary, everyone's favorite "nice guys wear jeans with an elastic waistband" character, won the week's immunity challenge by biking 79 miles over 4 grueling hours. Not a bad feat, considering one time in 9th grade Mike barfed a half-box of Kix cereal after running just one mile in P.E. class.



Anyway, back to the story. So Gary had just won the immunity challenge, which also got him a shopping spree for a new, smaller wardrobe with two helpful stylists. But these weren't your run-of-the-mill, finger-snapping, tut-tutting, frosted-tips-sporting stylist-queens, no siree.



The "stylists" were, in fact, adorable Gary's adorable children, whom he hadn't seen since embarking on the express ferry to Scrawnyburg. Upon seeing them, the stress of purge after purge to please vicious host/slavedriver Caroline Rhea finally caught up with him.



He pulled them close with his newly-toned arms into a bear hug, losing his composure and weeping uncontrollably. His children lost it shortly thereafter. And simultaneously, four Wieners burst into tears.

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