Jules' party: RIP SVP!!

Canadian Pizza Fanatics do it...


Toddler hussies in baseball jersies and falsies do it...


Serial killers and their favorite step-aunt Jeanine do it...


Bands of tiny jesters do it...


Santa Claus...


Bilbo Baggins...


Ben Affleck...


This sloot ALLL do it...


SO WHY CAN'T I DO IT?? WHY CAN'T I OPEN A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE WITHOUT THE CORK SHOOTING OUT AT MACH 45, HITTING MY BOYFRIEND ON THE TEMPLE AT A DISTANCE OF ABOUT 5 FEET, THEN BURSTING INTO TEARS IN THE BELIEF HE IS DEAD AND I HAVE KILLED HIM, WHILE EVERYONE SILENTLY LEAVES THE PARTY IN SHOCK AND TERROR.