Digitized Wiener Drippings

Hi Everybody. Here are some choice moments from today's emails, sent from Wiener to Wiener under the guise of productive work. It will go down in history as the day we learned that Julia is a spook and Jenny is totes racist. Enjoy...

Lang to Wieners, Mon, 6 Dec 2004 15:01:26
Okay. I put pictures by our names (except for Toby) in the Cast
section and then the remaining four went to the photo album in Photos
of our Wieners. The blog looks great you guys. And you guys look great
to the blog.

Lang to Wieners, Mon, 6 Dec 2004 15:10:13
Last night, I had a dream that I was babysitting in a rickety old
house and one of my kids choked another one to death. I felt a little
weird today also.
Just do 8 questions, Jenny. Don't forget the questions on your Harlem passage.

Julia to Wieners, Mon, 6 Dec 2004 15:10:48
when was that babyfaced photo of gabe taken?????
also there is no foto of me. thanks ho. also rekjavik page is as it was.

Julia to Wieners, Mon, 6 Dec 2004 15:17:58
heres 8 questions:

can I have a hamburger?
do my shoes fit?
will you hold me?
when's it dinner?
what's your face for?
do you like it hot?
what's the time?
who's your nanny?

easy peasy japaneesy

Lang to Wieners, Mon, 6 Dec 2004 15:20:43
There is too a picture of you. Can someone else check the webpage and
see if they get a pic of Julia and if the photo album works?

Jenny to Wieners, Mon, 6 Dec 2004 15:21:06
I DIDN'T FORGET THE HARLEM RENESSAINCE! HOW THE FUCK COULD I FORGET
IT? IT'S LITERALLY THE FIRST TIME THAT AMERICA WAS FULLY EXPOSED TO
THE AFRICAN AMERICAN RYTHMS AND VERNACULAR OF THE TIME.

DO YOU THINK I HATE BLACK PEOPLE PF THE 1920'S? WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU
THAT LANG? WHO? I'M GOING TO ROB THEIR FUCKING HOUSE, THAT'S WHAT I'LL
DO BECAUSE THEY SAID THAT.

AND THEN I'LL BLAME IT ON THE BLACKS, AND I'LL TELL THE BLACKS THAT
YOU TOLD ME TO BLAME IT ON THEM, AND THEN YOU'LL GET YOUR PERIOD OUT
OF THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD BECAUSE WE'LL SHOOT A BIG HOLE IN
IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!RAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

(am i fired? sorry. i'll do those right after i finish the ones on
antifreeze proteins in fish. sorry.)
LOVE JENNY

Gabe to Wieners, Mon, 6 Dec 2004 15:29:16
yes they all work. i look like a FUCKING psycho, which is accurate and sexxxy.
julia: here's how to make the pictures show up. youll need some
electrical tape for your breasts, a pair of white-hot tweezers, a
slice of cerrano ham, a post-it that says 'no one called, faggot,'
and--
fuck it, just push refresh a couple times.

Jenny to Wieners, Mon, 6 Dec 2004 15:29:23
no. here this!
actually, just here this: i saw julia on the website! she's there!
she's ditching work to hang out on our website in gabe's backyard! no,
really, the pic is there and it's super duper cutie booby loopy lala.
here. there. underwear...asian pear, if you dare?
nonsense ABCD!!!!
love,
tatty

and by "here", i mean "hear".
fuck you guys.

Mike to Wieners, Mon, 6 Dec 2004 15:31:34
hey lang, you got a real pip of an employee in jenny, dontcha? woo
HOO! man. just one thing though, jenny.
ACCORDING TO ESTEEMED PROFESSOR WINSTON JAMES OF COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY
IN THE CITY OF NEW YORK, THE TERM "HARLEM RENAISSANCE" IS A MISNOMER,
TURD! THE WORD RENAISSANCE SUGGESTS THAT AFRICAN AMERICAN ART, MUSIC
AND LITERATURE WAS SOMEHOW LEGITIMATELY INCORPORATED INTO THE AMERICAN
CULTURAL FABRIC PRIOR TO ITS SO-CALLED "RENAISSANCE," WHEN IN FACT
AFRICAN AMERICANS WERE NEVER ALLOWED TO CONTRIBUTE OFFICIALLY IN ANY
SIGNIFICANT CAPACITY, OR THEIR CUSTOMS WERE CO-OPTED BY WHITEY!!!
THEREFORE, IT REALLY SHOULD BE CALLED THE "HARLEM FIRST TIME BLACK
PEOPLE GET TO WRITE BOOKS AND MAKE ART THAT PEOPLE WILL LOOK AT AND
CONSIDER CRITICALLY."
but go ahead. go ahead and teach poor little baby children students
that it was a renaissance. let them go on thinking their ancestors
were benevolent masters. while you're at it, why don't you teach them
about how handicapped people are literally sub-human, like because
they don't have legs they can't do math. just do that too. and also,
tell your students that they don't have to look both ways when they
cross the street, because odds are if they didn't hear a car there's
nothing coming. UCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH! YOU ARE SO GROSS.
ok, love you, see you tonight!!!!!
mikey

Lang to Wieners, Mon, 6 Dec 2004 15:32:19
Jules, your computer sucks big time. It sucks more than a Dirt Devil.
It sucks more than the whore of babylon. It sucked the poison out of
my snake bite and saved me. It SAVED me, Jules!! I love your computer
because it gave me life. and life is precious.

Julia to Wieners, Mon, 6 Dec 2004 15:37:06
really? thats insane. cause I can get everyone elses photos but mine and group photo. obviously I died in childbirth in 1827 and am a ghost.

Gabe to Wieners, Mon, 6 Dec 2004 15:40:08
dear jules's non-existent reflection:
i am so spooked by your non-presence. wtf?

love,
gabe