The Proof is in the Peeling

There is no more Ozone layer. I remember when people were using a lot of hairspray in the 80's and the Ozone started to wear away. And then we all started putting on the breaks and things slowed down. I stopped eating Freon for lunch and my family's annual broken-refridgerator-lighting festival had to be curtailed.

But unfortunately those efforts were fruitless. From about an hour and a half in EARLY APRIL sunshine yesterday, my face looks like that of a drunken medieval peasant, taut, bright red and swollen, and I have a photographic negative of a sportsbra imprinted on my red torso. fine. but IN APRIL?????

WATCH OUT EASTER BUNNY. TEN SECONDS WITHOUT YOUR PARASOL AND YOU'RE FUCKED! HEY GROUNDHOG! GET BACK UNDERGROUND! GROUNDHOG NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO