guest author: jeff "urso" curtin!

when i got home from rehearsal last night, the best email ever was waiting for me in my box. i hope jeff doesn't mind me publishing this. if he does, he shouldn't.
[a little background: jeff is the genius who composed the music for the operetta in our show, and who performs the music onstage with us week after week. while he's a rockstar, in the band oxytocin, he is also a reformed comedian, who once sang and danced alongside me in a backstreet boys spoof in front of thousands of people]

jeff to wieners, Wed, 9 Mar 2005 00:22:33
here is a version to use for tomorrow during the time when i'm a rock
star. ok?! you should listen to it and maybe try to do it as a group,
while sexing it up with eye contact and drooling, as it will be harder
to follow then me following you, and because drooling...shows
schooling. basically if you memorize when there are little intros to
sections and the duration of the ahhh's, noooo's and such you'll be
all good in the hood, where you might have had your tits cut in the
past. but those times are gone. NOW WE ARE PERFORMERS ARE WE NOT!? SO
LET'S PULL IT THE FUCK TOGETHER AND ACT LIKE IT! save me a turkey
steak.

-november

some guy stepped to me on the street the other day with a five year
old son and a REALLY wandering eye and he was like, "i write comedy
music, here's my cd. maybe you'll come and hear me play sometime." i
was quickly like "yeah right" and went back to my italo calvino and my
cigarette as i spit on myself just a little bit by accident, but later
i looked at the cd and the first track was called cock in the pussy
and the second one was called balls deep and the rest of the tracks
were the same kindof. so i checked out his website (cocklorge.com).
thinking i hadn't given him a fair chance, i went back to the street
where i met him and waited to see if he would show up again. no one
showed, expect other people who were not him. but his wandering eye
and son were there so i took them for ice cream and it was fun except
the eye wouldn't look at me. fucking eye.

forward this to toby. if you want. whatever i don't care i'm a rockstar