"movin' out"

finally, mike has crawled, sheepishly naked and smelling like hipster, from the armpit of williamsburg and into the bosom of boerum hill. although he was quite versed in the art of moving, having packed his meager belongings from his college dorm room, to the floor of gabey's estate, to a summer pied a terre in clinton hill, to his rather inconvenient williamsburg abode, this last move proved complicated.
armed with 1 day off of work, 4 boxes, and a metric ton of sticktoitiveness, mike set about cramming his life into a euro-style transport van, and then deftly throwing it into what, he declared, would be his final resting place.
easier said than done.
2 days, 2 bagels, 2 slices of pizza, 2 long island iced teas and negative 9 lbs later, the move, and mike, were finished. what, you ask, took so long? why, you ponder, was it so difficult? let us count the ways:
1. the staircase to the new apartment reverses direction halfway up the flight, making moving large objects...hard. witness the 1.5 minutes of desperation when the box spring got stuck.
2. the traffic between williamsburg and boerum hill was...slow.
3. the old landlord was nowhere to be found. his "cell phone" ran out of "minutes," apparently.
4. the locks to the new apartment were tricky, and required hours of finagling.
mike is just now recovering from the ordeal.