Mike, how could you?

First of all mike, how dare you?

Second of all, I'm not even going to dignify your false accusations with a repsonse, although I could tell the story about how you saw gabe's dog pooping on the street and then you just said you were going outside for a cigarrette, but instead you ATE THE POOPS and then laid one right there, which isn't shocking because you are ALWAYS MAKING POOPS AND USING THEM FOR CHAPSTICK.

Enough. Remember mike, I found you. I saved your life when you were nothing but a street performer doing a bad Amy Grant impression. And this is the thanks I get. oh yeah, sure, i'll be at your house for rehearsal tonight. Except I'm not just coming to rehearse.

I'm coming to steal your shit, literally.
love,
jenny