WIENERBLOGTOWNUSA

WIENERBLOGUSA

The Wiener Philharmonic welcomes you to the grande opening of our brand new blog. If you don't know who we are, check out www.wienerphilharmonic.com, or turn on PAX at 4:19 AM to see right into the depths of our souls. Please come back often, as this will be updated near-constantly with idiotic bullcrap and genius-level heiferdumps.
For example, please enjoy this email chain, from two days ago. It was a day that will go down in history as the day Gabe had a stomach ache and Julia had a meeting:

Gabe to Wieners, Wed, 1 Dec 2004 11:04:50
you guys i feel so crappy today. i dont know what it is--certainly
not something i ate last night because i didnt eat anything last
night. oh man. my insides are melting. stay tuned for graphic
updates.

Gabe to Wieners, Wed, 1 Dec 2004 11:25:22
diarrhea volcano of the day #1: painful and surprising. my jeans are
now six sizes too big. my brain is one fifth it's original mass, an
eighth the volume. today is a bad, bad day so far.

Toby to Wieners, Wed, 1 Dec 2004 17:31:32
hey dudes,
can someone send me the contact info for that guy josh...somehow I
misplaced that small little piece of scrap paper that fatty forgot to
give gabe...i'm gonna send him a thank you from the wieners! gabe,
take pepto or just a big glass of milk...thats what my mom always
said, that way you will see if you are really sick or not

Mike to Wieners, Wed, 1 Dec 2004 11:34:17
my mommy always said a can of coke. it's the fizz, helps you burp out
the jives, choke down the love, so to speak.

Gabe to Wieners, Wed, 1 Dec 2004 11:38:41
i just chugged a glass of milk and washed it down with a can of coke,
and snorted six lines of pepto tabs. i flooded my office with silky
white-pink-brown vom. good one guys. i think i left josh payne's
contact shit at home.
has anyone else seen that bill michaels signed our website's gueslist?!
meb: whats the addy of your office? im going to send your mix over.
moreover: i really want to know how we can write new crap on our site
blog. im in that rare diary mood.

Mike to Wieners, Wed, 1 Dec 2004 11:45:59
MIKE: [banging a cowbell, pantsless] mix mix MIX, muh muh muh MIX MIX.

Gabe to Wieners, Wed, 1 Dec 2004 12:28:53
diarrhea volcano #2: calling it number two betrays the fact that this
explosion was mostly air and water, with little substantial presence
of #2 at all. just call me the boogie woogie bugle boy of company--
[sound fx: THUD. we see that gabe has passed out on the floor of his
office. TIME LAPSE PHOTOGRAPHY of Gabe being buried alive in faxes,
his Milanese intern stands by weeping].

Julia to Wieners, Wed, 1 Dec 2004 12:58:28
WHOA meeting all day today just getting a 2 second water break-- panting panting-- so let me say quickly before I duck back in, that Gabe, I am so eternally sorry that you have crazy diarrhea and fully expect to be visited by the ghost of Jacob Gnarly Diarrhea soon considering the fact that I ate an omelet this morning containing hot chorizo, green habanero sauce, and red pepper flakes, at which point my appendix scrolled with its tiny pink finger down it's at-a-glance datebook for the day and pencilled in "sore fiery asshole" from 9am til daybreak on tuesday.
stay well be well eat bland bland turdy quiet humble morning foods

And fin.