A little too fresh?

So it took me WAY ass too long to get into Fresh Direct, but now I've spent all morning filling up my tiny two-dimensional iconic cart and I couldn't be happier. But can I just offer one suggestion, FD? calm. down. with your wine descriptions:

"We are huge fans of the soft-spoken magic that well made Pinot Bianco (aka Pinot Blanc) can deliver. Salvalai's slamtastic 2002 talks the talk-and backs it up with a walk on the wild side of flava. Kinda like a pear-kissed Chardonnay that hasn't been violated by oak. Throw in a dash of nutmeg and presto, Bianco!"

The juice of grapes that have been carefully fermented can be delicious, aromatic, crisp, even naughty, evasive, sexy, royal, obstinate, loamy, preppy, chinky, shy, and barren. But neither grapes nor, indeed, anything except maybe Andre Agassi 9 years ago in a Powerade commercial, can be slamtastic.